Halloween for Dummies
By: Jon Vreeland

It’s always cold on Halloween,
Yet everyone’s clothes disappear
Along with their girlfriend,
A Nasty Hex,
Taken away by a Drunk vampire
and his stale and bitter
Beer breath by the
Light of the Colossal Moon

Or Pee-wee Herman and his pocket
full of pills he found in mom’s
Bathroom
Purse
Car and Pockets of her dirty jeans,
Along with three
One Dollar bills
Old lipstick and a condom wrapper,
(Minus the condom).
 
Nobody hears from anybody until
The painful morning.
Phones Die, Drop like infected flies
Never gaining full strength,
 
(Now everything changes.
Now he won’t
Love her
Like her
Or even Lust for her anymore.)
 
It always rains on Halloween
Makeup drenched
Smeared black furrows amid
Bela Lugosi’s face,
Holly Golightly’s smile and
white dress she burned with
a long cigarette.

I have seen my friend squat like a
Sasquatch on the hood of
an old man’s car and shit
On Halloween which
Made us laugh and vomit;
And we ran in the
Dark, the street lights burned out
Leaving the moon incharge,
A giant grapefruit
Keeping the mothers inside 

So the kids can still creep and laugh,
and shit on cars,
Eat candy while the monsters get drunk
Lose their clothes
Screw other monsters, and
People who are famous and dead

Forbidden drunken souls high on
Sex and Candy,

Hoping the moon shines
just a little longer.